ACIMH
Freaking COVID is inside my house
ACIMH* Me: I need to call my boss and get time off since I’ve been exposed to COVID through our daughter (who just tested positive). Navy Guy: Me: What? Navy Guy: You ARE your boss! Me: I know, and I’m a hard ass. I may not give me any time off at all, but I’ll…
Read MoreACIMH, Car edition – serial killer sightings
ACIMH*, car edition Me: Look at those two large steel cages in the back of that truck. You just know that guy is a serial killer and that’s where he keeps his victims. Navy Guy: Would he be so obvious about his murder cages? Me: Sure. Hide in plain sight! Also, look how muddy the…
Read MoreDISEMBOWELABLE
ACIMH* At dinner tonight, Navy Guy and Law School Ninja and I discussed the word I invented today: DISEMBOWELABLE. Me: Penny eviscerated another toy today. We need toys that are not disembowelable. NG: that’s not a word. LSN: Technically, according to the principles of English, it should be a word. NG: The principles of English…
Read MoreWine plus young hair for the win!
Got carded buying wine! Me: Really? *dripping skepticism* Her: It’s the mask. Me: Oh! That makes sense. Here’s my ID. Her: Plus you have really young hair. Me: So there you have it. Young hair and wine – my Monday is going to be awesome. LOL. (In worse news – and why I needed the…
Read MoreACIMH: Grilled cheese edition
ACIMH* Last night at 9 or so I decided I really needed a grilled cheese sandwich. Me: I really want a grilled cheese sandwich. Navy Guy: And this is a hint? Me: Nope. I can make it myself. NG, jumping up: Nope, I’ll make it. It will just be better. [NOTE: I have a slight…
Read MoreACIMH, Painting edition
ACIMH* – Painting edition Me: Oops! I got dressed in these nice clothes and actually put makeup on since we’re venturing out, but I forgot I wanted to put the second coat of paint on my bookcase this morning. Will you do it for me? Navy Guy: Oh. The “I forgot” excuse. Nice! Me:…
Read MoreACIMH –
ACIMH* Me, generally: Do young people get arthritis? Because I have a terrible suspicion that I’m getting arthritis in my right thumb. Everybody: *crowds around to look at my thumb* Law School Ninja: Well. You’re not really young, Mom. Me: Have fun paying for law school, kid. Him: I have a scholarship Me: Have fun…
Read MoreACIMH: Valentine’s Day edition
ACIMH* Navy Guy, watching TV: Wow. Lyle Lovett looks pretty old. Me: Well, it happens. (then I go brush my teeth, after chocolate cookies Law School Ninja baked, catch sight of myself in mirror-always a bad idea on deadline- and scream) Me: Why didn’t you tell me my hair looked like I’d…
Read MoreDon’t hump the boards — ACIMH*
*ACIMH = Actual Conversation In My House So, we went to IKEA yesterday to pick up some things for College Princess’s new apartment, and I found a bench that’s meant to be outdoors but I want to use it for an end-of-the-bed bench. We also found a desk for Princess that she plans to paint…
Read MoreThe inescapable dork DNA
ACIMH,* Sunday edition: Me: Will you please fill up the rice canister? There’s a huge bag of jasmine rice on the pantry shelf. College Ninja: *gets giant bag* How do I open this? Me: Scissors Navy Guy: *makes doubtful noise, starts toward kitchen* Me: Judd. Your son is almost 21…
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