ACIMH,* Sunday edition:
Me: Will you please fill up the rice canister? There’s a huge bag of jasmine rice on the pantry shelf.
College Ninja: *gets giant bag* How do I open this?
Navy Guy: *makes doubtful noise, starts toward kitchen*
Me: Judd. Your son is almost 21 years old. He can figure out how to open a bag of rice.
Navy Guy: *walking off* Maybe…
Me: Did you hear that, Connor? Now your manhood is on the line.
CN: I SHALL PREVAIL. Also, you two are dorks.
Me: DNA, my son. Look at your future. Also, I GREW YOU IN MY BELLY.
CN: *shakes head and sighs* I wondered when you’d bring THAT up again.
*Actual Conversation In My House