On courage and learning to swim…
Conquering fear…
One of the worst things about depression is that it makes us afraid. Afraid of stepping outside our comfort zone, afraid of trying new things, afraid of stepping into the world and experiencing it fully–with adventures and anticipation and joy.
So today I’m going to begin to tackle one of my lifelong fears: I don’t know how to swim, because I’m afraid of the water. Wow. That is so embarrassing to admit, especially since we always live near the ocean. But my horrible father did the “throw her in the deep end–of a LAKE–and she’ll figure out how to swim” thing when I was really small, and I nearly drowned. He kept thinking I’d pop up.
I didn’t pop up.
I’ve been afraid to have water over my head ever since.
But fear? It eats at our soul, flourishing in the twin dark places of stigma and shame.
Screw THAT.
I just signed up for swimming lessons. I promise to keep you posted, if you promise to encourage me and not let me back out. And, if you want to, be brave with me. Tell me one of your fears and let’s conquer it together. Or, if you don’t want the world to see your stuff, post “Hey, Alyssa? You know That Thing? I’m going to kick That Thing’s ASS.” And we will all root for you.
I’ll root for you. I’ll also go buy some good goggles…Wish me luck!!
xo
