Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and 2020 sucked

Happy holidays! I hope you have pie and joy and love and laughter. Please stop reading here if you want to stop on the cheerful part of this post. The rest is bleak.

I love you guys. Merry Christmas and happy holidays and happy New Year.

STOP HERE FOR CHEERFUL NEWS ONLY!
.
.
.
Okay, if you didn’t stop up there: here’s some truth.

I’m exhausted. This year has been so awful in so many ways. If you’re feeling anywhere near as broken and tired and sad as I am, please know that you’re not alone, and let’s all hope and wish and pray for a better 2021.

I’ve always been candid with you guys, so I’m going to admit that I very nearly checked myself into a place for depression last month. Since the beginning of October, my brain has been a very dark and scary place. I’m trying to turn the corner, but it’s so so so hard. Some days I can’t think of how I’ll keep going for another day, week, month, year. My brain is broken and it keeps telling me the world is hopeless and I am not good enough. I know depression lies, but it lies so well and seductively, especially at 4 a.m., when my defenses are low.

Part of what has been so hard has been the constant feeling of being behind and letting my readers down. I had what I thought was a reasonable schedule until taking over RWA for six months crushed me and my ‘reasonable’ schedule under a bulldozer. I kept pushing things off and pushing them off and you can only do that so long until they all pile up at the edge of the cliff and you fall off with them.

I’m at the edge of the cliff.

I’ve been ignoring my family and sitting at my desk 18 hours a day for the past month. I can’t eat and can’t sleep and feel so stressed out I want to be sick.

I can’t keep this up.

So I spent all night really thinking about my life and my health and my schedule and I’m cleaning the slate to start fresh. I can’t continue to suffocate beneath the burden of commitments I made before half my year got eaten.

Here’s what’s happening:

Tiger’s Eye Mysteries:
BLINK OF AN EYE – is done but for some edits and will now be released January 25, 2021
A DEAD END CHRISTMAS is not done and I can’t finish it in time to release it in January. And I won’t put out a rushed, crappy book. So I’m moving it all the way to Christmas, 2021.
EYE FOR AN EYE is still on for April, 2021
EAGLE EYE will probably be moved to August or September, 2021 or possibly even 2022. We’ll see how the first half of 2021 goes.

Atlantis
My goal was to have these books finished by December 2021. I see now that’s crazy. I’m going to release them as I write them, no more pre-orders, and try to finish the series with DECEMBER IN ATLANTIS by December, 2022. But it may be December, 2023. I don’t want to write more than four books a year, so each one can be special and give me joy in the doing instead of crushing stress.

Vampire Motorcycle Club
HUNTER’S HOPE, book 2, will be out in the fall of 2021. I don’t have an exact pub release date from the publisher yet.
REDEMPTION’S EDGE will be 2022.

Anything else? Who knows. I’m going to give myself a break. Hopefully get the vaccine sooner rather than later and visit friends.
Hug people. All the things I miss so much.

Thank you for your grace and kindness and patience and understanding. And, in return, if you need an author who is more reliable on a strict schedule, I get it, so you don’t need to email me to tell me. Thank you for hanging out with me for this long.

I love you guys. Merry Christmas and happy holidays and happy New Year. May your 2021 be amazing!
Xoxo
Alyssa

32 Comments

  1. Peri on December 25, 2020 at 12:26 pm

    Please take time for yourself. I am very lucky the pandemic forced me to cut my schedule drastically and I finally had time to sit and think. I have gotten so many little things finished on my neverending lists. I dont think I will go back to running all around in different directions for everybody when bans are lifted. It’s ok to stop and reflect and take care of yourself. I’m even thinking of getting a tattoo “and still she persisted ” because it states my life. Persistence beats overworked. Things will get done eventually and you will be able to enjoy them because you’re not exhausted. Be kind to yourself.

    • Alyssa Day on December 25, 2020 at 1:59 pm

      That’s very wise advice! Thanks!! I love the tattoo idea. ❤️❤️

  2. Tapati on December 28, 2020 at 4:46 am

    I support you in taking care of yourself. I’m glad you realized what you needed to do to recover from the mountain of stress.

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:05 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

  3. Connie on December 28, 2020 at 9:26 am

    It has been crazy year and will continue to be so – With that all i can say is – “You need to take care of yourself”. I appreciate your telling us what is up and it helps understand. 🙂

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:05 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

  4. Trish on December 28, 2020 at 10:09 am

    Am sharing my wish for you, Alyssa in this quote from Kunal Nayyar: “My prayer for you is this: to be a little easier on yourself. ‘All healing starts with gentleness, not only for others around you, but first and foremost for yourself. Starting the journey of self acceptance starts from where you are, not where you want to be. And the good news is- where you are is right here and right now.

    ‘So this year, I pray you fall back in love with yourself, and once again become your own best friend.”

    Wishing you healing and peace and happiness. Warm regards.

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:05 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

  5. Gwendolyn on December 28, 2020 at 12:35 pm

    Even though I don’t know you I knew something was wrong when the Tiger Eye Mysteries release dates were often changed. I was worried then that you may have needed a break. I’ve been in a high stress job and when I retired it took me two years before I did anything but veg out. It isn’t giving up to step back and say enough and it takes more strength than we give ourselves credit for to take that step. I’m glad you were able to do that.
    I don’t need a pre-order book to stay with a favorite author and talent shouldn’t be rushed. Thank you for the joy I’ve received from your books. They have been very beneficial during my own “veg out” times and I’ve reread the Poseidon & Tiger Eye books at least 3 times each. And, I will continue to buy them as they come out.

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:05 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:23 am

      Thank you so much! This means the world to me.
      xoxo
      Alyssa

  6. Nina on December 28, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    Although I was disappointed about the book, I TOTALLY get needing to take care of yourself first! We all need to learn to shake our heads East and West more. Health and well being are the most important things in life. Without those , nothing else is of any value. Take care of yourself and kudos for realizing some changes needed to be made And if you need to make more changes, so be it! Hope you have a better 2021 and take care. I’ll still be here ! Probably will reread the series again, since I have enjoyed it so much!

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:04 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:23 am

      Thank you so much!
      xoxo
      Alyssa

  7. Denise on December 28, 2020 at 9:05 pm

    Take care of yourself and family first.
    Most of your readers will wait. How can we not? I don’t want to miss anything!
    Take care and let us all pray for a better 2021!

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:04 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

  8. Denise on December 28, 2020 at 9:34 pm

    Take care of you. This has been a hell year. Your readers aren’t going anywhere. We will be here for you.

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:04 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:22 am

      Thank you so much!
      xoxo
      Alyssa

  9. Rosemary Locke on December 29, 2020 at 12:22 am

    The most important person to care for is yourself. I’ve lost too many people to depression over my life (I’m 76) and so often their expectations of themselves were too high, their fear of letting others down too great. Listen to your family, try to relax (it’s hard) and really LOOK at all the small things that are so easy to rush past but bring so much love, beauty and sheer fun into our lives. Fun is really important. And please ask your friends and family for love, help and understanding when you need it. They most likely want to help but don’t know what to do. Tell them. Also listen to them.
    .
    Rosemary

    PS I love your books and I don’t mind waiting

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:04 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:22 am

      Thank you so much! You are very wise.
      xoxo
      Alyssa

  10. Valerie Peterson on December 31, 2020 at 6:46 pm

    Don’t jeopardize your health. I like your books, and waiting for books is easier than not getting any, because an author works too hard. Thank you.

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:04 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:24 am

      Thank you so much!
      xoxo
      Alyssa

  11. Judy Eldawy on January 1, 2021 at 4:59 pm

    Dear Alyssa,
    I’m so happy to see that you have decided to be kind to yourself and reduce your schedule to manageable levels. You are such a talented writer. I love your world building and look forward to new tales. Please take care of yourself so you can continue to gift the world with your work for decades to come. I am a psych RN and I tell my patients that depression is a disease process, just like high blood pressure or diabetes. Just because an illness is not visible or tangible doesn’t mean it can’t cause you much misery. We can manage it with medication and lifestyle changes that include a strong social support system, good sleep and nutrition, and monitoring the signs and symptoms of it. I cannot stress the importance of balance in dealing with depression. We are holistic beings and need to address all areas of our lives-physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual to be healthy and happy. If you have not seen a doctor, please do so, Mental health is as important as physical health. Medication is a tool to help you deal with the problem, not an admission of weakness. If your brain has been dark and scary enough to contemplate suicide; LET SOMEONE KNOW NOW AND GET HELP! You can go to the ER or call 911 and they will escort you for an evaluation if necessary. Things don’t stay bad forever. Bad situations change and get better. Change is one of the few constants in life, along with taxes. Please be aware you are loved and appreciated by many whose lives you have brought joy into with your works.

    • Alyssa Day on January 14, 2021 at 5:04 pm

      Thank you so much!!
      xo
      Alyssa

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:22 am

      Thank you so much!
      xoxo
      Alyssa

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:23 am

      Thank you so much! This is wonderful advice.
      xoxo
      Alyssa

  12. Leann S on January 5, 2021 at 8:50 am

    I’m with you all the way!!! Just take care of yourself first and we will try to be patient for the next book. Hope 2021 is better for all of us.

    • Alyssa Day on February 7, 2021 at 11:22 am

      Thank you so much!
      xoxo
      Alyssa

  13. Mary Donaldson on February 2, 2021 at 7:04 pm

    You had the best intentions but it just wasn’t meant to be. You were right to STOP 🛑 and recognize what was happening. I lived a high stress job until I took early retirement at 56 and within one year I never was sick or ill until last year when i was 71. Since you love what you do you need to find balance. Saying no to things are the hardest decisions you will have to make. You’ve made some good decisions up front about publishing when the book is done and not forcing a schedule because you are locked into preorders. Plan something each month to celebrate you. Whether it’s mani/pedi or a zoom tea party with other writers find somethings to do that makes you happy and makes you want to get up and write, and not 18 hour/days. I finally caught up with all the Atlantis books in the last two months. And I still have the Tiger Eye series to read. Your readers will still be here when you start to publish again. Best of luck. 😻😻

Leave a Reply Cancel Reply