Happy holidays! I hope you have pie and joy and love and laughter. Please stop reading here if you want to stop on the cheerful part of this post. The rest is bleak.
I love you guys. Merry Christmas and happy holidays and happy New Year.
STOP HERE FOR CHEERFUL NEWS ONLY!
Okay, if you didn’t stop up there: here’s some truth.
I’m exhausted. This year has been so awful in so many ways. If you’re feeling anywhere near as broken and tired and sad as I am, please know that you’re not alone, and let’s all hope and wish and pray for a better 2021.
I’ve always been candid with you guys, so I’m going to admit that I very nearly checked myself into a place for depression last month. Since the beginning of October, my brain has been a very dark and scary place. I’m trying to turn the corner, but it’s so so so hard. Some days I can’t think of how I’ll keep going for another day, week, month, year. My brain is broken and it keeps telling me the world is hopeless and I am not good enough. I know depression lies, but it lies so well and seductively, especially at 4 a.m., when my defenses are low.
Part of what has been so hard has been the constant feeling of being behind and letting my readers down. I had what I thought was a reasonable schedule until taking over RWA for six months crushed me and my ‘reasonable’ schedule under a bulldozer. I kept pushing things off and pushing them off and you can only do that so long until they all pile up at the edge of the cliff and you fall off with them.
I’m at the edge of the cliff.
I’ve been ignoring my family and sitting at my desk 18 hours a day for the past month. I can’t eat and can’t sleep and feel so stressed out I want to be sick.
I can’t keep this up.
So I spent all night really thinking about my life and my health and my schedule and I’m cleaning the slate to start fresh. I can’t continue to suffocate beneath the burden of commitments I made before half my year got eaten.
Here’s what’s happening:
Tiger’s Eye Mysteries:
BLINK OF AN EYE – is done but for some edits and will now be released January 25, 2021
A DEAD END CHRISTMAS is not done and I can’t finish it in time to release it in January. And I won’t put out a rushed, crappy book. So I’m moving it all the way to Christmas, 2021.
EYE FOR AN EYE is still on for April, 2021
EAGLE EYE will probably be moved to August or September, 2021 or possibly even 2022. We’ll see how the first half of 2021 goes.
My goal was to have these books finished by December 2021. I see now that’s crazy. I’m going to release them as I write them, no more pre-orders, and try to finish the series with DECEMBER IN ATLANTIS by December, 2022. But it may be December, 2023. I don’t want to write more than four books a year, so each one can be special and give me joy in the doing instead of crushing stress.
Vampire Motorcycle Club
HUNTER’S HOPE, book 2, will be out in the fall of 2021. I don’t have an exact pub release date from the publisher yet.
REDEMPTION’S EDGE will be 2022.
Anything else? Who knows. I’m going to give myself a break. Hopefully get the vaccine sooner rather than later and visit friends.
Hug people. All the things I miss so much.
Thank you for your grace and kindness and patience and understanding. And, in return, if you need an author who is more reliable on a strict schedule, I get it, so you don’t need to email me to tell me. Thank you for hanging out with me for this long.
I love you guys. Merry Christmas and happy holidays and happy New Year. May your 2021 be amazing!