I am struggling with hopelessness today. My life is good. My son is recovered from his surgeries, my daughter has a cold but is otherwise doing great. My husband is amazing. So, why does the world look so gray? #Depression is a thief. It steals hope and light and joy and then makes us feel guilty for feeling lost when we have no visible reason to do so. So, I am struggling with that, too.
But, today, this is where I am. Since January, 2014, when I admitted my struggles to the world, I’ve tried to share, to help reduce the stigma surrounding depression and other mental illness. Some days it’s harder than others. Some days, like today, I feel like a complete failure at everything I touch.
Like there’s no reason to even keep trying.
I am determined to cling to the knowledge that I’ve been here before, and I’ve always come through to the other side, no matter how hard it is. But, today, I’ll wrap up in my softest blanket and hide from the world and pray for hope and light and joy to find its way back to my heart.
My word for 2020 is Kindness, and I’m going to try so hard to put more of it into the world. More kindness, and more love, instead of adding to the constant fuel of anger and outrage. Maybe this will help me survive.
If you’re struggling, too, please know that you are seen and you are loved and hang in there with me. Tomorrow is another day and, hopefully, the sun will shine for us again.


  1. Lynn G on February 18, 2020 at 6:04 pm

    All the turmoil, negativity, and hatred in our country these days doesn’t help either. I’ve quit watching all national news and political analysis. I treat myself to BBCA news and it helps me maintain perspective. For local news, I just browse the e-version of my local paper so I can make my own choices of what I want to process in my head.
    You’ve had a challenging start to 2020 but lean in and keep moving forward. One step at a time. Love, virtual hugs, and positive thoughts!

    • Alyssa Day on February 18, 2020 at 7:28 pm

      I so agree. I have started re-watching the Great British Baking Show instead of the news. I am just exhausted with all the hatred and negativity. All the hugs to you, too, Lynn.

  2. Laura W on March 9, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    I can relate I fought and mostly won my battle with anxiety disorder. Took lots of work and good professionals. I’ve been mostly free for over 25 years except for a breathing issue from time to time.

    You have so much going for you and to give grateful readers. I just started reading the Tiger Eye mysteries and have read three in a row and I usually ration books I really like. You have a real talent, you give people a fun universe to escape to. Just turn to your fans, they’ll assure you of your worth whenever you need it. Be well.

    • Alyssa Day on March 9, 2020 at 11:27 pm

      Laura, thank you so much! I’m glad you won your battle. I’m still in mine, but refuse to give up. And thanks for the kind words on the books! I love writing the Tiger’s Eye books and plan to continue them for years to come. They make me smile and I love making people laugh. Thanks!

  3. Carol on March 13, 2020 at 11:42 pm

    I just wanted you to know that I struggle with what is going on in the world today also so much dreary news I feel depressed but still move forward by not watching news anymore I like the bbc to stay in touch I think positive and pray that is my comfort in the Bible words of strength and I love the as ding your books it takes me into the characters world and I am now after all this time trying to write Thanks for your stories of Atlantis heroes and Jack . Bless you.

    • Alyssa Day on March 14, 2020 at 12:53 am

      Carol thanks so much for telling me!! All my best wishes to you in your own writing.

  4. Freddye on March 21, 2020 at 9:49 am

    Please keep writing.

    • Alyssa Day on March 21, 2020 at 3:32 pm

      Thank you. I’m trying.

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