We’re in the car, heading to the Japanese steakhouse to celebrate book release and kids’ college grades, and I’m playing Christmas carols.
Princess: Oh, good one, Frosty. Let’s sing about our impending death. “Hey, kids, want to learn about death? We can have a good time, but not for a long time, cause, you know, melting.”
Me: *growling* STOP. We’re going to get in the Christmas spirit.
College Ninja: Right, Mom! We can watch a Christmas movie!
Me: See? Connor gets it–
College Ninja:: DIE HARD.
Me: NO, NO, NO, NO. Not bullets. Not dead people. Christmas magic.
Navy Guy: You love that Snape guy. He’s in DIE HARD.
Me: *pause for a moment of silence for Alan Rickman* Yes. But
NO. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, PEOPLE.
Navy Guy: Let’s look on YouTube for that video where Rudolph is a mob boss.
Me: *banging head on steering wheel* NO. THIS IS NOT THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.
Princess: So, Frosty. You’re going to melt into a horrible premature death, but hey, let’s sing.
Me: *moaning* I hate you people.
*ACIMH=Actual Conversation In My House (or car, here)
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