7 Ways To Lose Your Lover
Overview
Shane Madison will get your boyfriend to break up with you—for a price…
Shane Madison hates confrontation. Ever since the first guy she broke up with—way back in eleventh grade—threw a baseball bat at her car, she’s become a master at getting men to make the first move (in the other direction). She’s even shown her friends how to get their boyfriends to break up with them. Now she’s turning her unique gift into a career.
But some men, it turns out, just aren’t made for dumping. And Shane’s kick-him-to-the-curb money-back guarantee might just come back to kick her in the you-know-what. Luckily, Shane has never backed away from a challenge. Not even when the gorgeous guy she’s dating turns out to be one of her client’s exes—in search of a little revenge…
With the same “laugh-out-loud”* hilarity and fabulous storytelling that made readers fall head over heels for Nice Girls Finish First, Alesia Holliday delivers a delightfully original novel about being true to your heart—even when your heart feels like a traitor.
Raves
“Ms. Holliday does it again with this hilariously clever story about following your heart. Perfectly straddling the line between chick lit and romantic comedy, Ms. Holliday captures both the female and male perspectives, with Shane’s scenes told in first-person and Ben’s scenes told in third-person. I laughed out loud couldn’t put it down. A must read!”
—4 ½ Kisses! Romance Divas
“Shane Madison describes herself as the Anti-Date Antidote, but she’s also the Perfect Anti-Boredom Antidote! I laughed out loud so many times as her plans backfired. Another winner from Alesia Holliday!”
—Michelle Cunnah, award-winning author of 32AA
“Alesia Holliday’s books have that rare quality of being both hysterically funny and ripping good reads.”
—Whitney Gaskell, author of TESTING KATE
“Once again, Alesia Holliday has created characters who make you smile while touching your heart. SEVEN WAYS TO LOSE YOUR LOVER is a keeper.”
—Eileen Rendahl, author of UN-BRIDALED
PRAISE FOR ALESIA HOLLIDAY & HER BOOKS
“With a clever, laugh-out-loud sense of humor and unique writing style, Alesia Holliday is a supreme new talent to keep an eye on.”
—Chicklitbooks.com
“Alesia Holliday has my vote for Chick-Lit Queen of the year.”
—Affaire de Coeur
“A hilarious, heartbreaking, and ultimately uplifting modern romance.”
—Susan Wiggs, author of The Ocean Between Us
Excerpt
In case you’ve ever wondered, desperation smells exactly like purple passion fruit warming body oil. Fruity and a little rancid.
I stood next to the sixty-four cases of virulently purple bottles and wondered again why I’d ever thought moving to New York was a good idea. Then, soul-searching moment for the day over, I called for answers. “Solstice? Why do we have sixty four cases of this stuff? I asked you to order sixty-four bottles, not cases.”
Solstice wandered into the cramped back room, weaving her way around the stacks of boxes and racks of delicate silken lingerie, biting her lip and blinking.
Solstice — real name Susan – was my assistant manager. (Midwesterners who migrate to the City tend to rename themselves. I’m not really sure why. Adopted personas manifesting as symbols of surreal expectations? Or just the grownup version of announcing “My new name is Princess Jessica” over your breakfast cereal?)
Solstice twirled a strand of blue hair past her multiply-pierced ear. You shouldn’t judge a book by its pierced and tattooed cover, but her overall look was a cross between Goth grunge and flower child. Which somehow, on her, worked.
“Um, huh? What stuff?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes, praying for patience — or at least the restraint not to grab her by the beaded camisole and shake her. “The stuff. The DreamGlow passion fruit body warming lotion. Didn’t you notice when the delivery came that it was a little bit more than our usual order?”
Solstice glanced at the boxes. “Oh, yeah. Well. I was kind of on the phone when it came, dude. Why’d you order so much?”
“I didn’t – I just said – oh, forget it.” I rubbed my temples, hoping that DreamGlow had a vendor-friendly returns policy. It would take five years for us to sell sixty-four cases of that stuff. And I was racking up the screw-ups pretty fast lately, for somebody who wanted to own her own boutique some day. We won’t even go into the brilliant “buy matching lingerie for your pet” idea. Evidently only a few high-profile celebs think dressing up their dogs is a good idea.
Of course, the seven dollar and thirty-four cent balance in my savings account isn’t helping with the business-owner dream, either.
